Recovering from setbacks

Is it one of those perpetual things that we no sooner recover from one trauma only to be presented with another? My husband recently bought a Tshirt which has "OMG Drama" on it and he pointedly said he bought it because of me. It got me thinking " do I really turn everything into a drama?". My concern is that if everything I am working on is a drama then I am continually recovering from setbacks. This is a huge energy zapper and also character building to boot and it does highlight something that may need clarifying at this point. What might seem to be a setback to me is different to what you perceive as a setback and therefore the recovering from it will be different for each of us. I think its safe to say that a setback is anything that puts us off our track, makes us stumble, fall or trip, shows us emotions that we weren't expecting. It can make a pause a little or stop us dead. Whichever it is this chapter is going to help you recover from your setbacks - I cant promise you'll never have them but when they happen, your recovery will be swifter and more elegant.  

Would it be too simple to say " get back up dust yourself down and get back on track? " Yes and there are ways to help you do that. Consider that you dont have to be 100% perfect 100% of the time, its alright to mess up. Someone once said to me that to make change things have to get messy and I think in many cases thats true. What you do have to do is commit to hanging around in the mess, working out what needs to happen next and then work on it. This allows your energies to be used by something other than the embarassment or trauma of the setback and physically moves you on. There are so many methods of commuincation now that setbacks can indeed happen quickly but they can also be recovered from quickly. Use whatever tools you have to get back on track.


So thats a practical thread to something that may have happened - an overheard conversation, an appraisal mess up, a presentation thats dried up. What about an internal set back with no third party? Where you have done yourself a disservice? Well, you could apply the above tips to yourself, be kind and cajoling, get a coaching session booked in, go for a run or run a warm bath. Whatever it takes to show yourself a bit of moving on. Remember that in order to learn from the setback you need to be able to look at it from a different angle - you can't see your dress sense in the moment only in the photographic evidence after! Likwise with ourselves it can be difficult to work out what has actually happened when we are still in it so you have to move somewhere and then have a look. Were there signs that you misread or didnt tune into? ( see Using Intuition). Were you gradually suddenly? Spend some time by all means looking at the build up and what you might do differently next time and then think about the next bit - the recovery.



How quickly you can recover depends alot on your self esteem and how much you want to recover ( some people appear content in a constant state of setback, if they are then so be it but its not for everyone). The chapter on building core strength so important and much like your health and fitness generally, if you spend time and energy on that then you will be much fitter and able to recover quickly from the inevitable setbacks that happen on the way. If your relationships are real, authentic, current and you are being honest with yourself and those around you then you will be able to deal with any setback that occurs.